Being an introvert means being alone.
Being an introvert means not speaking.
Being an introvert means over thinking.
Being an introvert means not socializing.
But most of all, being an introvert means being okay with all of this.
It means noticeably having people misjudge you.
It means trying to explain your reasoning while falling flat because the person, try as they might, cannot understand.
It means bad habits… Biting our nails, biting our lips, our cheeks, fidgeting too much…
It means dealing with anxiety and not understanding your own feelings.
Being an introvert means telling the little friends you have, no, and ignoring them simply because it’s easier than explaining why you can’t force yourself to leave the house.
Being an introvert means lying to yourself that you’re okay with some sort of socialization.
It means thinking that you have to change to meet everyone else’s expectations or you’ll be seen as the “boring” one.
We pretend we busy on the emptiest of days.
Being an introvert means actively searching for a quiet spot every moment of the day.
Being an introvert means disappearing for days at a time from texting, social media, or from showing up in person.
It means needing a few days to yourself to recharge for the next time you are feeling up to going out. Because going out justifies normalcy, but further proves how different you feel compared to everyone else. But you can’t compare yourself to others, can you?
It is you comparing yourself to others, not anyone else.
Humans want to define the word normal with whatever fits themselves and the social construct. We aren’t normal, are we? We wouldn’t want to be normal, but we find ourselves asking if things would be different, in a better way, if we were.
We get jobs, we go to school, we have hobbies, we collect tangible items that make us feel better about our exterior, but over and over again that empty feeling peaks through.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to what we believe we are verses who we truly are. What facade do we put on today? Do we show our true faces under the thousands of masks that we put on every hour? What actually makes us tick?
For me, it all comes down to the same answer… For me, being an introvert means being me.