Life Events · Ramblings

Quarter of a century!

Well, we made it.

Today is my 25th birthday.

To be honest, it does feel a little surreal to think about all the time that has passed so quickly. It makes me reflect back on my life and think about all the things I have accomplished. I am not one to sit in the past or think about memories that I regret. I love all my memories – the good and the bad – they are what has shaped me into the person that I am today.

I have to say, I have been through a lot to get to this point. I sit here at 25… I have moved back with my parents twice, I have lived with a long-term boyfriend, I have lost and gained amazing friends, I have gained and lost, I have adopted many an animal, I have found an amazing hobby in painting, I have found a wonderful job, I’ve experienced many things from archaeology digs to Comic Cons… I purchased my first home, by myself at age 23.

So really, I do not have much to complain about AT ALL. I have a great life that I have shaped 100% on my own. Do not get me wrong, that is a good thing that I have accomplished all these things on my own. It has been an adventure. Sometimes a scary adventure, but a worth while, character building adventure. I am not perfect by any means! I make mistakes daily, I do things I regret, and I am not motivated like I want to be on the daily; however, I can look on the bright side of my life and look at all these amazing things that I have done! What better day to do that but on your birthday?

I have had so many jobs by now that I can look back and joke about some of them. I’ve been at call centers, a barista, I worked at Pay Less for a short time, I have been a receptionist, a bagger, a cashier, and I have been a team lead for a farming store. Well rounded if I say so myself! I mean, I can make you a dope coffee, but I also can tell you about farming animals and have owned chickens, ducks, and a goat! A lot of life has happened in between high school and age 25. Almost so that it is humorous. Some of these jobs I loved and some of them I did not. The experience is there nonetheless! Jobs do not define you as a person and that is one large lesson I have learned as an adult. They come and go. Happiness is when you find something that you enjoy while also living the life that you want to live.

Finding happiness has always been the end goal to this adventure, has it not? We all want that idea of being truly happy… I have learned from experience that life is not just going to give you that. In fact, life will try everything that it possibly can to knock you on your ass and when you get back up, it will start to rain. We cannot give up in these situations. I’ve learned that life throws at you obstacles that you CAN overcome to open new doors that are better in the long run. If you have a good mindset, that you will be rewarded at the end, then all will usually work out. It definitely has never been easy for me. Whether that be me creating my own drama or life putting me in difficult situations, I have digressed and come out a much better person from all my life obstacles. Again, I have no regrets. I am happy with the person that I have turned out to be.

The person that I am now is not the person I was six months ago and it is not going to be the person I will be next year. I absolutely adore that about life. Change is good! Change is refreshing, exciting, and scary. I find myself getting bored in the day-to-day monotony that is life – work, school, chores, socialize, repeat – it gets exhausting mentally. One thing that I have learned about myself is that I struggle when I find myself in a boring setting. When I have been doing the same thing for too long it eats at me. It isn’t great when I think I have found myself in a rut, but the important thing is that I have discovered this trait about myself. Discovering your traits is useful because then you can understand why you do certain things. Understanding these kinds of ideals is important to not let them control you and to make sure we do not act without thinking. I am just looking forward to discovering myself as I head toward bigger and better things in this life!

Discovering ourselves, our friendships, our faults, and what makes us happy is so important. I have learned in 25 years that I am ever-changing. What makes me happy today will not necessarily make me happy next month. That is okay. No need to panic. I have discovered so many new hobbies that I would rather be doing than work (ha-ha, isn’t that the dream). Painting has become such a huge help in my life regarding overthinking, anxiety, and overcoming boredom. I have a better understanding of what it means to create something and the freedom that brings. However, some things are the same: I still love YouTube, I love attending Comic Con or Fan-X in Salt Lake City UT, I love picking up a good book, I love writing still, I love gaming, and I love animals. Somethings never change. Discovering what it means to grow older is an exciting journey that I am ready for.

“Becoming old” is never an exciting thought, however, I find that it brings wisdom and freedoms. I am excited to experience this world and you cannot do that if you live in the past and cannot except the years as they come. I have so much I want to do. I want to travel, I want to experience history, I want to write, I want to put together a book, I want to have a farm in the future, I want to get to a point in life where I can do what I want – do what makes me happy and earn a living from it, I want to meet amazing, new people and make them apart of my history… So many things I want to accomplish still and this is just the beginning.

The beginning of a story is just as important as the end. I would not even have a story if it were not for my family and friends. I have been truly blessed in regards to the way I was raised, the friends I have experienced, and the families that have taken me under their wing out of the goodness of their hearts. We would be no where without the people we surround ourselves with. If they are good people, then life will be just as sweet. That is such an important lesson that I have learned in this life as well.

I have not always been so positive and forward thinking. There were many a time that I was sitting in my own self-doubt, wallowing in it, and complaining about things I had no right to complain about. Yet, we all have. Again, I am not perfect and find me someone who is. We can learn from these things though and that is what I have been doing for a good part of the last three years: Learning.

Learning is my favorite thing to do. Whether that be in book, in a school setting, or simply from life experience – I absolutely ADORE learning. I love history, I love the future, I love animals, this world, nature, humans, human concept, and science. I cannot get enough content to be honest. I’ve never known the answer to the question: “What do you want to do when you grow up?” That has always been not only a terrifying question, but a question that I do not have the answer to. I don’t want to limit myself to one thing! If I could be a renaissance human in every aspect then I would be. I want to do several things, yes, at one time. Why would I want to limit myself? I guess that is why a career has always scared me… What if I get bored and I find myself stuck? What if I do not enjoy what I am doing. I have many flaws and this is a huge one, but really, it rings true. There is not ONE singular thing that I can see myself doing. I want to branch out and set deep roots in many things! One day, I will choose one, but today is not that day.

I guess in a nutshell, I am 25 years old today. I have so much more life to live, experience, and make it my own. I am so looking forward to the future. However, I know my decisions, my jobs, my friends/family, and my hobbies will all change… I will bounce back and forth before I truly can see myself settling down. There is just too many things that I want to do. Getting out and experiencing the world is next on my bucket list. I can truly see traveling being my next goal to accomplish. Turning 25 today truly is exciting. I am so glad I made it this far! I am very proud of myself for setting my mind to all the things that I never thought I would allow myself to do… If you would have told me two years ago that I would have purchased a house and lived by myself… I would have laughed in your face. Except, I did do just that.

I will continue to surprise myself. This was very much a humble brag post, but it was truly meant to be a looking back-birthday post. I know I will set numerous goals, they will change, I will accomplish some and not others. Just know that I will put my all into every single one. Here is to never giving up, working hard, and celebrating another birthday! 🥂🖤

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